10 Rules for Parents with Kids on Social Media
Stop being scared of the internet; start raising kids who can handle it.
Almost every parent I speak to is terrified of social media, like it’s some uncontrollable monster coming for their children.
I am going to be “that guy” and remind you, fear makes for weak parents, and weak parents raise unprepared kids.
I don’t believe in hiding my children from the world.
I believe in preparing them to face it, so if you allow your kids access to social media, here are 10 points other parents should think hard about.
1. Don’t Give What You Plan to Take Away
If you buy your child a phone, it’s theirs.
You don’t get to yank it back the second you’re uncomfortable; that shows weakness in your decision, not theirs.
If you think they aren’t ready, don’t give it to them in the first place.
2. Social Media Isn’t the Enemy, Weak Parenting Is
The apps aren’t raising your kids, You are.
Don’t blame TikTok or Instagram for doing your job; teach them the difference between a tool and a trap.
3. Model the Behavior You Expect
Your children will follow your example, not your advice.
- Zac Small
If you scroll at the dinner table, so will they.
If you check your notifications before making eye contact in the morning, they will too.
Lead first, lecture second.
Don’t tell your kids to get their eyes off the phone, as you sit there scrolling on your phone, it makes no sense.
4. Real Life Always Wins
Screens never outrank faces.
Phones never outrank conversations.
When someone’s talking to you in real life, the screen goes down; that’s non-negotiable.
If you want your children to get off the screen, give them something fun to do; if they want their friends to get off their screens, they need to come up with something fun for everyone to do.
It’s easiest, the best entertainment wins.
5. No Sneaking Around
I’d rather my kids scroll next to me than hide in their rooms.
I don’t monitor like a prison guard; I talk, explain, and show. I do not go through my kids’ phones, and if there’s a night where we’re all just scrolling the electronic world, that’s cool.
I know we do the world in the real world, I’m not worried that my kids have screens from time to time.
And I don’t hide shit; Secrecy breeds rebellion, openness builds trust.
6. Mistakes Are the Lesson
Yes, they’ll scroll too long.
Yes, they’ll compare themselves to someone online.
Yes, they’ll stay up too late talking to friends or playing games…
Good; that’s where the lessons are learned.
Don’t rush in to save them from every fall; offer advice, but let them fail and learn from nature; help them see why it happened and how to recover.
To the parents of kids who are athletes:
Your Child’s Social Media Could Cost Them a Scholarship, or Help Them Earn One
If you’re raising a middle or high school athlete, you already know the game has changed from the 1990s to the 2000s; it’s more competitive, visible, and connected than ever before, and a large part of that is social media.
7. No Digital Cowards
One lesson I’ve shared from day #1, and one that I have followed myself, is that if you want to say something online, you should be ready to tell it to someone’s face.
No hiding behind screens, no fake courage in the comments, no internet bravado…
If you wouldn’t say it in person, don’t type it.
I refuse to raise keyboard warriors.
8. The Internet Doesn’t Define Them
Likes, followers, and views don’t decide their worth.
Their work, their word, and their character do…
If they know that early, they’ll never sell themselves out for digital validation.
9. Respect Autonomy, Teach Responsibility
I won’t micromanage every tap and click of my kids. I know they’ve already seen and heard things I wish they hadn’t, but that’s life.
If my kids are old enough to have a phone, they’re old enough to learn responsibility for it.
Autonomy and trust teach more than restriction ever could.
10. Use It to Build, Not Escape
The internet should fuel their life, not replace it.
Share wins, showcase work, open up to letting people see where you’re working to get better, and connect with friends.
I'll call it out immediately if they’re using it to escape reality, because the physical world always comes first, and as a father, I need to be their guide until they’re running on their own two feet, aware and prepared to overcome the manipulation and propaganda that sinks its hooks into the souls of the uneducated.
Recap for the Moms & Dads
Social media isn’t going away
Hiding your kids from it is a weakness.
Equipping them to handle it is a strength.
Stop parenting like you’re scared of the screen; start parenting like you’re raising adults who will own the screen.