3 Steps to Revitalize Your Marriage

Unveiling a Few Secrets to Thriving and Passionate Relationships

Uncomfortable Truth: Marriages can quickly lose their spark unless both husband and wife actively nurture and tend to the relationship.

If you find yourself yearning to improve or to maintain the quality of your bond with your spouse, there are actionable steps you can take to yield immediate and transformative results.

My Journey to Marital Bliss:

Let me share my personal experience to demonstrate that a flourishing marriage is within your reach.

My wife and I have been together since 2003, when we were both 16, and we married in 2008, tying the knot at 21 years old.

Currently, in the midst of raising two wonderful children and living our best lives in a world of comical insanity, Jackie and I find ourselves having tackled life's highs and lows, embracing every challenge that has come our way. And despite the rollercoaster of life and societal endorsement of easy divorce, we have emerged victorious while continuing to excel in various aspects of our lives together.

The difference between us and many of our contemporaries is that we aren’t settling down and accepting mediocrity; we’re continuing to grow as individuals, as a couple, and as parents which is something that can be replicated by the many out there suffering in their marriage who want to turn things around.

Our journey towards a remarkable relationship involves embracing holistic growth.

Health has become a priority for the two of us and our two children. Jackie and I are now in better shape than we were five years ago. We aren’t just getting stronger physically, but mentally and spiritually we are “raising the bar” as well. The whole family actively pursues “better” in ourselves, with Jackie and I setting the standard through obtaining professional certifications and indulging in enriching literature, broadening our intellectual horizons.

However, the most significant aspect of our journey is the unbreakable bond between us as a couple and our united front approach as parents. Jackie and I have drawn a line in the sand, and it’s us (+our children) vs the World.

Laughter fills our days, and our intimate life thrives, providing a strong foundation for genuine happiness together, even after two decades of companionship.

We have learned to disregard external judgments and opinions while focusing our efforts and attention solely on our shared goals in life. Our commitment to our personal growth enhances the quality of our individual selves, thereby enriching the love we can offer one another.

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.” — Pearl S. Buck

Let's Begin Your Revitalization Process

For you to bring life back to your relationship, you have to see where things have fizzled out or outright died. What things did the two of you do when you met that no longer happens? In this assessment of self, you’ll find what your marriage needs, and whether you’re willing to commit yourself, with your spouse, to bringing it back to life.

Here are three things you must embrace to get started on the path to bringing lifelong bliss back into your journey through marriage:

Step #1 Embrace the Reset

Amidst the chaos and challenges, the recent global events have bestowed upon you a unique opportunity for a fresh start.

Seize it!

While the world has flipped out, it’s also allowed you to put the pieces back on the table in a different order. What better time to fix things than when everything is meant to be out of order?

Prioritize your relationship with your spouse, reminisce about your early days, and identify the core values that fueled your love. The aim is not to relive the past but to build a better future together. You don’t want to “go back to how things were”, you want to create the greatest version of your relationship there’s ever been.

It’s okay to admit that you need a fresh start, I’d talk about it directly with my wife if I were in that situation, saying something like, “Hey love, we’ve been in a rut and I’m not looking to stay here - let’s get some things back in order so we can get back to laughing, loving, and enjoying our time together”.

Step #2 Embrace a Playful Spirit

Rediscover the joy of light-hearted banter, belly laughs, and the sense of mystery that originally drew you to each other. Embrace the youthful energy that characterized your early days, don’t act old as you grow older.

Laugh together, joke around, and create memorable experiences that remind you both of the carefree love you share.

Photo by Adam Whitlock on Unsplash

I wish I could show you “a day in the life of Zac Small”, because then you’d see how serious I am about how serious I am not within my home, and with my family. The world can be a dark place, which is all the more reason to bring light into my house and in regards to this piece, my love life.

Strong marriages need a healthy dose of humor, fun, sexual attraction, and a daily vitamin of who-gives-a-fuck?

Have fun again, let go of the serious routine, and learn to play with your wife and children; let them see that you are not a crusty old, pissed-off man yelling at the kids even considering walking on your lawn.

Step #3 Embrace Mutual Pride

Remember that your wife is more than just a spouse, a parent, or an employee; she’s a woman, and women have needs, both in regards to those that are universally biologically driven, but also preferentially driven.

Recognize and appreciate the multifaceted person that your woman is, and remember what it is that she likes and doesn’t like. When you first started dating, I doubt you were pulling the dutch-oven or acting like Peter Griffin. Take pride flirting with your woman, and keeping her on her toes; beyond that, remember to not take her for granted by making it a point to recognize her accomplishments and successes.

She is a woman, an individual, and while she is yours, the work she does to reach the heights she’s attained is a product of her efforts, cheer that shit on.

Your wife’s progress in life is a reflection of your performance as a husband.

By implementing these actions, you can revolutionize your marriage.

Why settle for a subpar relationship when you can embark on an extraordinary adventure with your woman? Invest in your marriage, work together, and savor the joy of a thriving relationship that will inspire you to embrace life to the fullest until the day you leave the Earth for good.

- Zachary Small

If you want to work together on getting your marriage back on track: