38 Life Lessons Every Man Must Learn Before 40
Hard-Won Wisdom on Masculinity, Discipline, and Growth from 38 Years of Life
Yesterday, I turned 38 years old.
That’s 38 years of wins, losses, lessons, and experiences that have shaped me into the man I am today.
In that time, I’ve learned a few things—some the hard way, some through wisdom passed down from men before me, and some through the teacher of life itself.
Here are 38 lessons every man should consider as he carves his path.
1. No one is coming to save you.
You are responsible for your life. The moment you realize that everything—your success, failures, and growth—is on you, you gain true power.
2. Alcohol took more from me than it ever gave me.
For years, I thought alcohol was adding to my life, but in reality, it was stripping away discipline, clarity, and control. Sobriety (use code 38BDAY to save 38%) has given me all of that back—and more.
3. If you’re always the smartest man in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
Growth requires challenge. Surround yourself with men who make you level up.
4. A man without a mission is a ship without a sail.
Drifting through life leads to nowhere. Define your purpose, set your course, and move with intention.
5. Your wife didn’t marry you to be her best friend.
She married you because she saw a man she respected. Lead, protect, and provide, and you will keep that respect.
6. Your kids don’t need a perfect father.
They need a present father. Show up. Be there. Nothing replaces your time.
7. Weak men make excuses.
Strong men take responsibility. The only thing standing between you and the life you want is your ability to own your choices.
8. The best way to change your life?
Wake up early, train hard, and keep the promises you make to yourself.
9. Masculinity is not toxic.
Weakness masquerading as masculinity is toxic, and a lack of masculinity is toxic, but true masculinity is strength in service self and of others.
10. The best investment you can make is in yourself.
A strong mind, body, and spirit will pay more dividends than any stock, property, or crypto.
11. A man’s handshake tells you everything you need to know.
Weak handshake = Weak man.
Look him in the eye, grip firmly, and stand like you mean it.
12. Brotherhood is rare but necessary.
Men need men. Lone wolves die early. Build your tribe and protect it.
JOIN the BROTHERHOOD I CoFounded and am now a LIFETIME Member of: Fraternity of Excellence
13. Discipline is more reliable than motivation.
Motivation comes and goes. Discipline stays. Rely on it.
14. Society will do it for you if you don’t define your values.
And trust me, you won’t like the result. Stand for something, or be molded by everything.
15. Lifting weights isn’t just about muscles.
It’s about mental toughness, self-respect, and control over yourself. Strength is a foundation for life.
16. If you wouldn’t take advice from a man, don’t take criticism from him either.
Not every opinion is worth your energy. Filter wisely.
17. Adversity doesn’t build character; it reveals it.
When life punches you in the mouth, you find out who you are.
18. My biggest failures always came from ignoring my gut.
Your intuition knows more than you think. Listen to it.
19. Marriage isn’t about keeping the spark alive.
It’s about commitment, growth, and building something real together through storms and sunshine. You and your wife are the fire, keep it burning and you won’t need a spark.
20. Money is a tool, not a god.
Use it wisely, but never worship it.
21. Time is more valuable than money.
You can always make more money. You can never make more time.
22. People who say, “You’ve changed” usually liked you better when you were weaker.
Keep changing. Keep growing. Don’t let their comfort in your old self hold you back.
23. Social media is a tool, not a replacement for real life.
Likes and followers don’t build a legacy—your actions in the real world do.
24. No man respects a gossip.
If he talks to you about others, he’ll talk about you to others. Move accordingly.
25. Fear is the enemy of growth.
Most men are trapped by fear—of failure, judgment, and pain. Overcoming fear unlocks your potential.
26. Confidence is earned.
Fake it, and the world will see through you. Earn it, and no one can take it from you.
27. Lead your family with love and strength.
If you don’t, someone else will. Be the anchor.
28. Your past doesn’t define you.
What you do next does.
29. If you have a father, respect him.
If you are a father, be worthy of respect.
30. The greatest legacy you can leave isn’t money—it’s impact.
How will your family, your friends, and the world remember you?
31. The man who controls his vices controls his future.
Addictions, bad habits, distractions—they’re all chains. Break them.
32. Stop seeking comfort.
Growth happens in the fire, not in the shade.
33. The best way to silence haters?
Win. Let your success do the talking.
34. Read books. Train hard. Speak less. Do more.
Simple. Effective. Life-changing.
35. Every sunrise is another chance to be better than yesterday.
Take it.
36. At 38, I’m not looking back at anything with regret.
I’m looking forward to the next opportunity I have to test myself, and experience more.
37. The man you become is built by the decisions you make every day.
Choose wisely.
38. You’ll be judged on what you did in life, so be an action-taker and leave a legacy beyond words.
Everything in life is about Deeds, Not Words
If you’re ready to make this year your strongest yet—physically, mentally, and spiritually—let’s build together; subscribe, and continue to follow the message.
Here’s to another year of growth.
- Zac Small