Building a Strong Family
The Importance of Prioritizing Quality Time Over Quantity Time
The idea of being a family man has shifted quite a bit over the years, especially in our modern world, where there are now so many more demands on our time both at work and within the home.
Case In Point: Your grandfather wasn’t available to telework at all hours, streaming 100 different channels on TV, or keeping up with friends on social media via a device in his pocket.
Things Have Changed
In the past, being a family man meant being the breadwinner and providing for one's family, while spending time with them was usually reserved for weekends and holidays. I believe we need more of an emphasis on maintaining a work-life balance.
The 1950s didn’t have it right; so let’s stop looking to our great-grandfathers and grandfathers as the standard of strong American family men.
If we’re looking to develop stronger families and Make America Great Again, then we’ll need to do more than worship tan idols and wear cheap hats… To get our country to a golden age of growth and prosperity, we need to say, “Fuck the 1950s; we’re setting the standard here and now”. We must foster such an economic boom within the home, where it’s not growing businesses and trade but connections and bonds (pun intended) between husbands and wives and parents and children.
We do this by prioritizing quality time over quantity time, which creates deep connections within the family, leading to a stronger and more meaningful relationship.
The Importance of Being a Family Man
Being a family man means much more than just financially providing for one's family.
To be a good husband and father means being present and actively involved in the lives of family members. Research suggests that when fathers engage in interactive play with their children, it can positively impact their cognitive, social, and emotional well-being. Additionally, being a family man involves being a good role model and imparting the right values to one's children. Being present is the greatest present you can gift to your son or daughter; it enables you to guide them in the right direction and teach them important life lessons through your example, not your advice.
The single greatest advantage you can give your wife and children is an ever-present, always-strong, free from control, unshakeable, infinitely supportive, and aspirational masculine presence. My wife and kids chase their dreams without fear because they know that no person or thing is going to hold them back, as they have a 178lb human Gorilla at their back who will never allow evil, manipulative, weak individuals to block their growth. They know this because I have given them quality time where I connect, care, and engage with them on a level that they cannot dispute how much love I have for them or what I’m willing to do to protect that love.
Creating Deep Connections with Loved Ones
It is not enough to simply be present for one's family members; there are thousands of children with absent fathers they see daily…
Above I said “Quality” specifically because it’s quality time that must also be spent with the family to create deep connections. Engaging in activities with family members helps build stronger relationships and promotes better communication. Families can do things such as compete in activities like game nights, outdoor adventures, and other fun activities. My friend and FoE brother Don Hickman runs his Friday Family Fun Night, which is incredible at fostering an environment of connection and growth. When fathers take an interest in their child’s interests and actively participate in their hobbies, the tension and conflict disappear. This quality time together helps create a bonding experience between the father and child, which can lead to positive lifelong memories.
Prioritizing Quality Time Over Quantity Time
With the hectic pace of modern life, it is easy for fathers to get caught up in their work and neglect spending time with their families. However, prioritizing quality time over quantity time is crucial to building deep connections with loved ones. This means making an effort to be present and engaged during the time you spend with family members.
Remember, when you come home from work after making the sales or building the plans, laying the bricks, whatever it is that you do - your family doesn't see any of that; all they see is what walks in the door.
How long have you been walking through that door, miserable, tired, complaining, or ready to grab a beer and sit down?
That’s all the “time” your family is getting, and that’s the example of their father, which will be burned in their mind. They don’t know you as the hard worker or shark salesman; they know you as a dude who always says, “No, I don’t want to play”.
Family can prioritize quality time by scheduling specific time slots for family activities, setting aside dedicated family days, and establishing family rituals or traditions, such as taking annual vacations together. Your wife and kids don’t want to burden you when they ask for attention; they love you and want you to be a part of their lives.
Some tips for prioritizing quality time include:
Set up family routines: this can be establishing a daily routine or weekly routine where certain activities are done as a family.
Make time for individual connections: Fathers can designate specific times when they do something meaningful with each of their children individually.
Create meaningful conversations: Fathers can ask open-ended questions and give each family member their undivided attention to foster meaningful conversations. If you aren’t good at this, I’m sure you’ve heard of Chat GPT or Google; it isn’t stupid to ask either some good questions for wives, sons, and/or daughters.
Be present: When spending time with family members, it is important to put away technology and any other distractions and give full attention to the activity being done together. Don’t be the dad on his phone playing catch with his son.
Being a high-level family man means prioritizing quality time over quantity time.
It requires active engagement, creating deep connections, and making an effort to prioritize the relationships closest to you. Fathers who prioritize this shift will have a stronger family bond and provide their children with valuable life lessons and memories. By prioritizing quality time, fathers can take the first step in becoming the best family men they can be.
- Zachary Small