Start at Home: Fix the Habits That Are Wrecking Our Kids
Before blaming the school system, take a hard look at the chaos inside your own four walls.
Teachers are trying to instill a winning mindset in school while dealing with lost young people before they leave their homes.
I see it every day.
Kids dragging into school like they just finished a shift at a steel mill; eyes glazed over, brains fried, no breakfast, no sleep, and no shot in hell of focusing on anything that requires more than 90 seconds of attention.
I get it, this is forced education, or “compulsory schooling.”, that discussion is for a separate day, right now I’m talking about acknowledging the fact that if you are going to force your child to attend public school, then you need to set them up for success in the home.
Everyone loves to talk about what is wrong with the education system…
I want to focus on what’s wrong at home.
Your Kid Doesn’t Need a New Curriculum, They Need Healthy Sleep Habits
If your child falls asleep in class, it’s not the teacher’s fault.
I’ve had many students whom I’ve allowed to rest for a period of time because they looked like they needed it, but I’ve also had to wake them up and find some way to inspire them to want to remain tuned in during the class.
It isn’t easy to get a teen/pre-teen to “try to find a reason to absorb this information” when they slept like butt the night before, didn’t eat that morning, and haven’t had a normal routine in weeks.
If they’re irritable, unfocused, or melting down over basic tasks, it’s not a learning disorder requiring pills to “pacify them”. Nine times out of ten, it’s a sleep or nutrition issue that’s entirely avoidable.
Children need 8–10 hours of real, uninterrupted sleep:
Not “it’s their responsibility” to figure it out.
Not sleeping after an hour of TikTok scrolling.
Not “they’re in their room, so I guess they’re resting.”
Not sleeping with a TV humming in the background.
Not, “it’s the teacher’s job to teach, not tell me how to parent.”
Real sleep.
The kind that starts with a routine, no screens, and lights out at a set time.
You know what disrupts sleep more than anything else?
Blue Light: Phones. Tablets. Gaming consoles…
All are pumping artificial light straight into your child’s eyes, telling their brain to stay awake long after they should be winding down.
Reduce the number of screens available in the bedroom by educating your child on why it’s in their best interest, which would allow them to leave the phones on a charger as they went to bed for the night without the fight.
You want to give your kid an academic advantage?
Start with a damn conversation about the importance of sleep.
Fuel the Body, Feed the Brain
Breakfast is not optional in this environment.
Neither my wife nor I are big breakfast eaters, and that has passed to our son and daughter, but after a good night’s rest, both of my kids will wake up, get ready, and have some water and either fruit, a waffle, or some meat leftover from the night before.
Both of my kids don’t like eggs (don’t ask me, I love them) so I do not force that on them, and I don’t force a big meal, but I have shown them that a small something, even light, is better than going through the day in a fasted state, especially when not all schools offer the may meals times, or allow kids to snack in class.
Also, do not pretend that cereal is in any way nutritious.
I’d rather my child skip a meal and pack a lunch they can bring to school to eat when they are ready, than I tell them to consume sugar-loaded snacks in milk.
A fistful of candy, a can of soda, or nothing at all is not a meal - neither is cereal.
If your child hasn’t eaten anything with real nutrients by the time they walk through the school doors, they are already behind, mentally and physically. If you’ve relied upon the school lunches to fuel them properly, you’re intentionally overlooking all the data on what kids eat at schools.
Kids need protein, fat, water, and whole foods.
Eggs, fruit, toast, yogurt, and even leftovers from dinner are better than nothing. A child running on sugar is a time bomb, and the crash always hits mid-morning when focus matters most.
Back to electronics for a moment.
The average child spends 7+ hours a day on a screen.
Let that sink in.
We are handing developing brains over to algorithms that feed them junk content, distorted self-images, and a nonstop dopamine drip. Can some children navigate that world without becoming a slaves to it?
100% and these children have parents who have discussed social media and its pitfalls.
If your son or daughter can’t go 10 minutes without checking their phone, you’ve got a bigger issue than missing homework. They’re addicted to an electronic world because it’s more appealing than the one they live in.
You gave them the device; you must teach them how to use it as a tool, not an escape. If they are using it to “get away”, you need to be aware of whatever they are trying to get away from…
Is it you?
Talk to your kids about what they’re watching, and set boundaries by leading by example, not fear or coercion.
Support Doesn’t Mean Spoiling
Kids need love and stability, but that’s not the same as saying yes to everything.
I butt heads with my kids, yet we have a great relationship. I’d take things further and say, it’s because we share our truths that we have conflict, but it is never personal, and that is how we show our authentic selves, without damaging our relationship.
Too many parents are trying to be liked instead of being honest.
Your kid doesn’t need a conflict-free life; they need guidance from a compassionate leader who shows them how to navigate the conflict. In the home, you teach your child the skills to use in the world, where various issues will be faced with friends, adults, and life.
Kids need someone who sets expectations, holds the line, and shows up consistently, allowing them to do the same.
Supporting your young scholar looks something like this:
Creating a safe home.
Providing a structured routine.
Regular meals and consistent sleep.
Never basing their worth on a letter grade.
Educating them on proper electronic usage.
Accountability for schoolwork and behavior.
Being involved and aware of their daily experiences.
Disciplining them on how to navigate social situations.
Having their back over blind allegiance to the School or Teacher
Setting clear rules and allowing natural consequences to instill the lesson.
Give your children a gift that will carry them farther than any tutoring program or test prep ever could: Give them a safe, connected, intentional, and peaceful home.
Kids Deserve Better. And It Starts With Us
I’m not writing this to shame anyone.
I’m writing this because some kids are not okay, and it’s no fault of their own.
They did not buy the food in their home, they do not know what they don’t know about sleep, and they are out here trying to survive in this world that changes by the month; the kids are a product of the world they are growing up in.
Too many parents pretend it’s someone else’s problem, and teachers/the school get the blame because this is where the students are sent most of the day…
You can’t send a racecar to the track with flat tires and no fuel, then blame the track for why the car isn’t winning any races.
If we’re being honest…
Most of what’s “wrong” with kids today can be solved by committed parents making hard, consistent choices.
We don’t need new apps, programs, or updates to school policies.
We need to reclaim what was outsourced when all states had passed school attendance legislation in 1918: And that would be Responsibility.
Want to help your child thrive in the classroom, sports, and life?
Be present.
Educate them at home.
Eat healthier as a family.
Remove fear-based parenting.
Teach them the importance of sleep.
Care more about the home life than homework.
That’s how we change the game, for them and us.
This is how we make what happens in the public education system supplemental to learning in the home.
This is how we help the youth become healthier, happier, and more authentic individuals, not just better students in a system built around control and conformity.
- Zac Small