Living Life on Your Own Terms
Why It's Important to Break Away from Conformity
(This is article 3/10 in the drafts I am clearing out)
Living life according to someone else's expectations can be draining and limiting, but choosing to live on your own terms can lead to a sense of freedom and fulfillment.
From a young age, we are taught to seek approval and fit into predetermined molds, but this societal norm can stifle our potential for self-fulfillment; without top cover from parents who tell you that you need to be yourself, and not who teachers want you to be, there’s no way you’d know this and be protected from conformist behavior.
By taking control of your life, embracing your authentic self, and building confidence, you can create a path that aligns with your values and desires. This is the greatest decision I have ever made for myself, and the example I set has helped my wife do the same; together, we have chosen to raise our children in this manner.
It is the way.
1. Take Back Control of Your Life
Living life on your terms means taking ownership of your decisions and the direction of your life. If you’re over 22 years old, you can’t blame your mom or dad for how you became who you are; at some point, you must take responsibility.
Instead of continuing to conform to societal norms or repeating attempts at trying to please others, start making choices that align with your personal goals and beliefs.
Who do you want to be in two years from now?
Start doing the work today to become that person.
You don’t need support; you must do it alone to separate yourself from the validation and permission seeking from others; this is your life; go live it without apology or seeking acceptance.
2. Discover Your Authentic Self
Trying to fit into a mold designed by others can lead to losing touch with your true self.
By living life without worrying about the opinions of others, you can discover who you are and what makes you happy. The hard part here is if you become who others want you to be, or you choose to be who you think they would like; then you may not know what it is you want.
Fair.
Go into the world and pay attention to what you’re drawn to, be it an art, hobby, or career. What topics get you moving, what subjects can’t you shut up about, and where do you wish you were?
Listen to that voice within, and you’ll discover who you were meant to have always been.
3. Build Confidence and Self-Esteem
Living on your own terms promotes self-confidence and self-esteem by knowing you are doing what is true to your soul.
Living with honesty and integrity also empowers you because you know in your heart you’re doing what is right.
By embracing your interests and values, you can let go of self-doubt and negative self-talk, leading to greater personal growth and success. When you are confident in yourself and your choices, you can pursue your goals and dreams without hesitation.
4. Develop a Sense of Purpose
By making choices that align with your values and goals, you invest time and energy in yourself and what's important to you. This allows you to gain clarity and pursue a path that leads to a strong sense of purpose.
When you know what you love and want, there is an opportunity to share that experience or the fruits of that labor with others. In this service to others, you will develop a sense of purpose in this world, which is a product of having hope and belief that what you’re doing adds positive value to the world you live in and the lives of the people you exist around.
5. Attract Like-Minded People and Opportunities
Embracing your authentic self and living on your terms attracts like-minded people and opportunities. Instead of trying to fit into others' expectations, you will surround yourself with people who share your values and interests.
Think about it like this:
If you pretend to be someone to “keep the peace”, then anyone who likes you likes who you pretend to be.
Contrast that with living authentically; you are who you are without apology, and so are those who like you, like you, with your features and flaws.
It’s far better to be loved and hated for who you are than for who you pretend to be because at least that love or hate is real, whereas the conformist feels nothing, as they know it’s all an act.
6 Action Items to Take
Identify Your Values and Goals
Knowing your values and goals can help you make decisions that align with your desires and interests.
Grab a piece of paper and write down three things you value and three goals you have.
Beneath those values and goals, write down three action items you will take to make them more a part of your life each day.
Learn to Say No
Don't be afraid to say no to things that don't serve you or align with your values.
It would be best to start cutting bad people and habits out of your life; it’s been too much “yes” and people-pleasing, so it is time to put yourself at the front of the line.
Surround Yourself with Like-Minded People
Seek out people who share your values and interests to support and encourage you on your journey. Make sure they know the real you because that’s who needs the genuine connection.
Take Ownership of Your Life
Remember that you are responsible for the life you lead; no more blame game to anyone. Your life is your fault; you are your problem and solution.
Take control and make choices that align with your desires.
Embrace Failure
Failure is a part of life; learning from it helps you grow and progress to success.
Follow Your Passion
Don't let obstacles hinder your passion and goals; find that fire and keep it alive as you strive for your dreams.
Nobody stops you from running your life, and nobody will stop you from running it into the ground.
You’re an adult; it’s time to take responsibility and start living in line with your authentic self.
Life is too short to spend it trying to keep other people happy.
- Zac Small