Planned Matrimony Combats Alimony
Having a vision for marriage can spare you being blindsided by divorce
The woman you marry will impact the trajectory of your life from that point forward more than any other decision - you’ll want to get this choice right the first time.
The most interesting aspect of modern marriages is how little information men are given regarding how they should go about selecting the right girl. Most of the advice given to men falls somewhere along the lines of:
If you knock her up, marry her.
If she puts up with you, marry her.
If she hunts or drinks whiskey, wife her up.
Each individual sentence is a horrible piece of advice, and collectively, it’s almost an active attempt to sabotage any chance at a life of monogamy that one could enjoy from beginning to end. This may seem like a stretch, but it’s neither as dramatic as I wish it was, nor am I exaggerating the pathetically shitty amount of effort put into deciding whether to commit to a woman for life or not.
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I’ve worked with too many who have married a woman without rhyme or reason other than, “It was something to do”. And it’s here that we find the crux of the issue, modern marriages and the view on lifelong commitment is skewed because we’re combining those who put no intentional effort into who they’d marry with those who’ve taken the steps below (and more) to ensure they were committing to someone who was as dedicated to the success of the relationship, for life, as they were.
You can’t compare a marriage between two people who know nothing of each other with people who’ve dated and vetted one another for 5 years, and yet that’s exactly what we see people doing.
This piece is focused on being more intentional with who you marry and how to dial things back in if you’re already married and want to get things back to “right”.
My Experience Thus Far…
Jackie and I’s Rapid Resume:
Together since 2003 (16 yrs old)
Married since 2008 (21 yrs old)
Happy together today (35 yrs old with two children Son (13) & Daughter(10))
Still laughing, loving, learning, and chasing each other like newlyweds…
For any relationship to thrive beyond one year, both individuals within it need to evolve on their own while growing together inside the relationship itself.
You see wives lost on their social media accounts, always inadequate compared to the highlight reel the Joneses drop, always exposed to the negative vibes their high school friend Karen shares on Facebook, and in a steady state of feeling the need to appear great electronically while being absolutely miserable in real life.
The best wives don’t mess around with any of this; their lives are too good to want to keep up with others.
I wrote a piece for The Family Alpha (my personal blog), which I do not plan to rewrite here, so I will treat it as mandatory reading along with today’s piece; this article will be complementary in nature and include new lessons learned.
Below we’re talking about whether you should marry and whether you can turn it around; we’ll dive into each, and hopefully, from there, you can apply and start out on the right foot or get yourselves back to right.
Either way, investing time in developing yourself and better understanding your marriage is time well spent.
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