This past weekend, I had the privilege of attending the Fraternity of Excellence retreat.
FoE isn’t a feel-good club, where we play golf and bitch about life…
It’s a community of men who hold each other to the fire, which I needed. This was my first event as a member (I sold ownership last year), and it was a great experience.
I knew I wasn’t going to be the dude who said he’d be back, knowing damn well he had no intention of returning.
I’d run every single event we’d had for 7 years.
Last year, after I’d sold ownership, I chose to step away for the new leadership to get themselves rolling without any overlap or confusion. I also allowed myself the freedom not to feel obligated to be there for any reason.
When they announced the next one, I was immediately in, and this weekend delivered on why I knew I wanted to go.
I found myself in conversations that cut deep as soon as I arrived.
No fluff, no small talk, just direct challenges from men who wouldn’t let me hide behind excuses. We spoke about real life, marriage, fatherhood, money, business, fitness, and more…
Nobody was worried about what game was on TV, and no man was talking about his wife and children as if they were a “ball & chain”. In a world where everyone is terrified of offending each other, sitting down and hashing out the truth with men who actually care is rare, priceless, and hilarious.
(Seriously, I cried from laughing multiple times this weekend)
The Battlefield and the Bayou
It wasn’t just talk.
We went to war together and against each other.
Paintballs covered me in welts, but it reminded me of the rush when you throw yourself into chaos and adapt on the fly.
Later, we kayaked waters where alligators lurked just beneath the surface. Fear doesn’t disappear; you push through it, and that’s when you feel alive. If you get attacked, you’re around men who’d dive in, and if you die, it would be a great story.
Those moments weren’t about games or danger but about choosing courage.
Every time you pick discomfort over safety, you strengthen the mindset that refuses to back down.
Building the Body to Match the Mind
My greatest takeaway was around physicality.
I’ve got my finances, spirituality, and family dialed in; my biggest weakness has always been on the physique. I don’t just want to look good in clothes; I want to look excellent out of them, so I said that and went directly to the source, Cala, a personal trainer in FoE who attended the event as well.
He and Colton, who, as a side note, is my twin; not literally, but we have lived the same damn life in a stupid eerie way...
Cala offered guidance and recommendations, and soon, I will have a template from Colton, who built a custom program that worked for him.
Together, they reminded me of something critical: Excellence isn’t something you can compartmentalize. You can’t lead in business, family, or faith while letting your body slide, and vice versa; what good is being jacked if you can’t run your household?
Excellence is holistic, and a complete integration of the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual; if you neglect one, you will live a fractured life.
Why This Matters
I walked away from this retreat with greater focus on the areas outside the picture of what I needed.
I’m not just going through the motions with fitness anymore; I’m recommitting to building a physique that matches the ethos we preach, Living with excellence in all areas of life.
As a man, you can’t be your greatest self in life if you go at it alone.
If you’re serious about getting your mind right, your body right, and your life aligned with purpose, then you need men around you who will push, challenge, and sharpen you…
That’s what FoE does.
If you’re tired of being soft, physically or mentally, then it’s time to step into a brotherhood that will force you to level up.
Don’t wait until life kicks your ass or you fall flat on your face; join us at Fraternity of Excellence and set your future self up for success with accountability and a network of men who want to do more than exist and die.
- Zac Small
PS: This is the first part of a two-part series; the next one will be a breakdown of different experiences that stood out to me in positive and negative ways.