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The Power of Alone Time
Why Fathers Must Prioritize Self-Care
Many fathers find themselves overwhelmed with the daily responsibilities of providing for their families, nurturing their children, and supporting their wives.
While these men serve these noble commitments, one crucial element is often neglected: themselves.
In this fast-paced world, it's essential for fathers to carve out much-needed alone time to recharge, reflect, and cultivate their best selves. By doing so, they (we, as this is the community of which I am a proud member) enhance our own lives and become better fathers, partners, and role models.
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Selfish is Selfless, When Balanced
This piece was written in my head as I was working out alone at the new Planet Fitness they built nearby. My son was pumped when he turned 13 as that was when he could be a guest at PF, and so us going to the gym together was “a thing”. I love it, I’m all for it, and it impresses me to this very moment that I have a son who wants to train with his dad.
All of that said, he had no interest in going after house chores and heavy lawn work. So, I went alone, and I didn’t feel bad or guilty doing so.
Yes, I could have made the excuse of staying home to spend more time with my wife and children, but I needed to hit the gym, and so I took the window of time to do so without the boyo or anyone else by my side.
This act is the one many struggle with.
Men have been messaging me for years about how they struggle to do anything alone or spend any amount of money on themselves.
Alone time provides a precious opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. I can’t tell you how many thoughts I had circling around my mind on the ride, during the lifts, and return trip home. Being alone had me in a place where I could compartmentalize each of the things I was thinking of.
When we find moments of solitude, away from the demands of work and family, we can contemplate our values, aspirations, and areas for self-improvement. Through introspection, we gain clarity of thought, refine our goals, and align our actions with our true selves. This, in turn, enables us to become positive role models for our children, showing them the value of self-awareness and continuous growth.
Being constantly available for our loved ones can take a toll on our emotional well-being. Alone time creates a space where fathers can unwind, de-stress, and process their emotions. Whether journaling, meditating, engaging in creative outlets, or slaying it in the gym, each of these activities will release built-up tension and strengthen our emotional resilience.
“When we tend to our own emotional needs, we enhance our ability to provide stable and nurturing environments for our families.”
Paradoxically, taking time away from our families can actually strengthen our relationships.
By nurturing our individuality, passions, and personal growth, we bring a renewed sense of vitality and fulfillment to our roles as fathers and husbands. Taking an occasional hiatus from our daily routines can reignite the spark in our relationships, allowing us to approach our loved ones with fresh perspectives, enhanced patience, and a deeper sense of gratitude.
Bottom Line: It’s good for your family to miss you now and then.
In the journey of fatherhood, it's crucial to recognize the need for alone time and embrace self-care as an empowering practice. By prioritizing our own well-being, we ensure that we show up as the best versions of ourselves for our wives, children, and the world around us.
Through reflection, personal growth, emotional resilience, and strengthened relationships, we set a powerful example for our families—a testament to the importance of nurturing our own souls as we navigate the beautiful challenges of fatherhood.
Become the man who is comfortable alone.
- Zachary Small
PS: If you’re looking to join a group of fathers and men in general who are working towards the goal of finding peace within themselves, check out my private community The Fraternity of Excellence. This is where I spend most of my time working with others to get them to where they need to be in all aspects of inner and outer excellence in life.