The Saturday That Changed Everything
Why One Night of Reflection Can Rewrite a Lifetime of Regret
Special Note:
I didn’t plan to write this tonight, I’d planned to share a list of “Mocktails” I drink that give the process of making a drink, without the alcohol.
But some nights, reflection hits harder than sleep.
This one’s for the person staring at the drink, wondering if tomorrow will be different. I know how that feels, because I’ve lived both tomorrows…
I’ve had a tomorrow where I continued the process of drinking myself away from my worries, and I have had tomorrows where I broke free and didn’t feel the regret, shame, or insecurity for years after.
I’m just letting it roll and seeing where this piece takes me…
The First Time I Quit
July 7th, 2020.
I woke up knowing I was done.
The night before, I’d been drinking for no reason; I wasn’t celebrating or socializing, I was drinking red wine, because that’s supposed to make the night more enjoyable...
I caught myself stressed out, unable to watch the show that was on, or even relaxing while chilling right next to my wife.
I was… drinking to drink.
It didn’t taste or feel good, and I couldn’t even pretend to enjoy it anymore, so that morning, I looked at the box and felt disgust, not at the drink, but at me…
I quit.
No rehab.
No 12-step program.
No real support structure
Just a decision that I didn’t like what I was doing.
And from that day forward, my life became something different.
I became something I never thought I could be, sober.
You see, I was raised around booze, I coped with traumas through booze, I joined the military and was then immersed in a culture of booze, and then I handled the stress of life with more and more alcohol.
Sobriety showed me that I did have too much to lose, which was also something I could not always say. But I did; I’d built a life that could be destroyed if I didn’t get my head on straight.
I built businesses, I built a strong marriage, I became the father my kids never had to worry about not being prepared to handle any “monsters”.
I’d shared my journey publicly, as that is how I use my social media: leading by example vs just talking about it, showing others that I was serious.
I thought I’d beaten alcohol once and for all…
A Return Without the Parade
July 2nd, 2024.
Four years later.
I poured myself a drink, not because I needed it, but because I didn’t.
I’d proven my point and knew I was no longer controlled by alcohol anymore, and technically, I was right. It didn’t control me, but the poison was still poison, and so what I thought was a win was a reminder.
The first time was harmless.
The second time was a little heavier to get the full effect.
Then came the mornings when I woke up foggy, tired, and frustrated; not hungover…
Haunted.
I was drinking and didn’t have the same intensity as I did before, but I wasn’t relaxing when I drank, and I wasn’t better in any way after I’d drank.
Literally, only negative things happened:
I’d get this “doom” feeling, where I feel horrible, thinking things like, “You suck”, “You can’t do this”, “You’re not going to reach those goals”, “This is unsustainable”, these are just a few of the things I’d think to myself.
I started getting fat and lazy again. Drinking late led to eating late, which led to being a fat ass.
I was tired from work; both physiologically and psychologically, I was barely hanging in there, and the fatigue continued to climb.
Alcohol makes me inflamed and amplifies the worst parts of me, so I stepped back from it, and that’s when I realized something:
I didn’t have to go sober because I couldn’t control myself; I could go sober because alcohol is liquid poison that I don’t want or need in my life.
The Recommitment
July 7th, 2025.
Same date; Same man; New Perspective.
This time, I didn’t quit because I hated the monster I’d become; I stopped because I loved myself too much to keep drinking poison and calling it peace.
Sobriety isn’t punishment, it’s freedom.
It’s clarity of thought with a brain that isn’t damaged, it’s being able to drive at any time of day without fear, it’s showing up prepared, it’s looking your kids in the eye and knowing they’ll never see you stumble.
And the best part?
It’s being awake for your own life.
Alcohol Steal Presence
You think the drink is giving you “a break” from the grind, but really, it’s robbing you of the moments that matter.
I thought it would make me laugh more, loosen up, or make a boring night fun.
It didn’t.
It just dulled the edges of my potential and delayed every dream I said I wanted; now, when I think about drinking, I remember that it never made my life better, only quieter while it fell apart.
The Saturday That Changes Everything
Maybe this weekend is just another one for you.
Or maybe…
It’s the one that finally means something.
You can keep doing the same routine, drinking through the stress, chasing a buzz that doesn’t deliver, and calling it “unwinding.”
Or you can step out of the loop.
Not because you’re weak; but because you’re ready.
I’ve been both men, the one numbing and the one living, and I’m telling you, life is longer, deeper, and more fulfilling when you can remember every second.
The Truth About Freedom
You don’t need to hit rock bottom to rise; you just have to stop digging.
If you’ve been thinking about quitting, really quitting, don’t wait for Monday, the New Year, or a new reason. Let this Saturday be the one that changes everything.
You’ll feel alive.
You’ll feel proud.
You’ll wake up clear.
Because sobriety isn’t about what you give up but what you finally get back.
Join the Movement
I’ve created something that isn’t AA, isn’t an “online course”, and isn’t some PC-Safe-Space Club; I’ve created what I needed, a place where people are working to be (and stay) sober and genuinely happy.
If this message hits home, I invite you to join me and others who’ve chosen to live alcohol-free, not out of guilt, but out of strength.
Together, inside 365 to Sobriety, we share wins, lessons, and daily accountability in a private space built for those ready to rebuild their lives one day at a time.
👉 Join the 365 Days of Sobriety community →
By removing booze and the stigma around sobriety, we win. I want to work with those who want to win this part of their lives.
- Zac Small