When Tragedy Has No Villain: Facing the Pain of Accidents That Just Happen
Life is short, fragile, and unpredictable.
Accidents are the hardest when there’s no one to blame, grief with nowhere to go.
This week in my county, a 13-year-old boy’s life was cut short, a 14-year-old was injured, and a 69-year-old will never be the same…
A typical day out on the water reminded us all that life is fragile, unpredictable, and painfully short. Reading this story hurt my heart; writing it is a way for my soul to process the unimaginable pain and blame that come with events like these.
When There’s No One to Blame
From everything I have read, there were no drugs or alcohol involved in the collision between the boat and the Jet Ski, which leads one to believe this was an accident; maybe mistakes were made, but nobody was malicious or out to cause harm that day.
And that’s the most challenging part, as some tragedies cut so deep because there is nowhere to point the finger…
When there’s no villain, no act of malice, reckless disregard, and no “fault, " where can you send all the hurt you feel inside?
Just a moment, a collision of time, chance, and circumstance, leaves behind devastation and grief.
In Beaufort County, a 13-year-old boy lost his life in a boating and jet ski accident; Another teen was injured.
No headline can soften the impact of those words.
A child is gone, a family’s world has been shattered, and a community now carries the weight of something that cannot be undone.
And the most haunting part?
Sometimes, it’s no one’s fault…
The Pain Without a Target
When tragedy has a clear cause, our human instinct is to fight.
Anger has a direction, and we can channel the grief into blame, lawsuits, or outrage.
But when no one did anything wrong, or when what went wrong was a series of unfortunate mistakes and an accident, the pain has nowhere to go.
It lingers.
It seeps into quiet moments.
It makes ordinary days feel heavier.
There’s no enemy to rage against, only the cruel reminder that life is fragile, and sometimes unbearably unfair.
I’m disconnected from this event, though it happened in my area.
The Weight of “It Just Happened”
Those three words, it just happened, carry a suffocating weight.
The phrase reminds us that control is an illusion.
We plan, prepare, teach safety, set rules, and yet, life can still take from us in ways we never expect.
Especially as parents, we can do everything “right”, and still have the most beloved part of our lives stolen from us, and then the real problems creep into our minds…
We can’t blame anyone else, so we blame ourselves.
Parents who did everything they could to set their children up for success will create stories where it’s their fault that something happened, because taking the blame and pointing the finger at one’s self is more reassuring than accepting that their child’s life was taken at random, and that this is the nature of the world we live in...random.
Every holiday will feel different for the parents, friends, and community touched by this accident. A shadow will fall over their hearts every time they pass the water. Their lives are split into two parts: before and after the accident.
It’s heartbreaking.
What This Can Teach Us
I don’t write this to dwell on grief, or to play to the pain of a recent tragedy for relevance; I wrote this to remind us, all of us, that life is so fucking short, and against our wishes, every moment is also a game of random chance.
Life is too short to waste on grudges, too short to spend numbing ourselves with distractions and addictions, and too short to keep putting off the words we must say or the dreams we delay pursuing.
Sometimes, bad things happen, and there’s no why, but that truth should wake us up, not shut us down:
Hug your kids longer.
Say to that person what must be said, no matter how difficult.
Live with the urgency that tomorrow is not promised, as we’ve learned that nobody is allotted any set amount of time on this Earth.
Nothing is guaranteed; all we have is this day.
There will be no perfect answers for the family that lost their child.
There will be no tidy explanation that makes it all okay;
Stop waiting for the right time to live fully, because sometimes, accidents happen, and when they do, everything changes forever, and the “later” you thought you had will be gone without warning, and nothing will bring it back.
- Zac Small
PS: My heart goes out to the family; if you have any free time after you read this, please keep them in your thoughts and prayers, send positive vibes, or meditate and feel the moment you still have in their child’s honor.