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You Are Who You Roll With
Surround Yourself with Positive Influencers
I cannot be around men who do not loathe weakness and wasted opportunity the way I do; it grates on me and brings me to a place where I’m less than my best.
But that’s the point.
We’re influenced by those we surround ourselves with, so it makes sense to be particularly careful about who we’re allowing to have that type of impact on us. The “Influencers” in our lives had better be living with focus and deliberate action; why else would we allow them into our circle?
Be Intentional with Your Circle
Whenever I am with men from the Fraternity of Excellence, I hear comments and remarks while taking direct questions like, “Who are you guys?” and “What exactly is it that you do?”.
The men I associate with are not your Average-Joes;
They’re working all year long to ensure that, and none want to be the “weakest link” in our group, so there’s added pressure to continue pushing the needle forward.
These men are pursuing excellence, and when we get together, it’s clear that there’s a stark contrast between average men who live without intention and men who dress, speak, and carry themselves with purpose.
It’s essential that every man (and woman) surround themselves with professionals and people of a caliber that makes those around them better, if even by sheer proximity.
One of my Uncles was a SEAL, and one thing he said to me I never forgot, “Zac, I don’t let myself get bored; there’s always something you can do - even if it’s practicing holding your breath, seeing how fast you can drink water, or how many pushups you can do; there is always something you can do besides waste the time you have so don’t ever say, “I’m bored”.”
Thanks for the life lesson UD
The people in my life who’ve worked their way to a position of influence are also referred to as those in my “inner circle”, these people are never bored, “too tired”, or complaining. They are always doing something, building something, and even when pissed off, they’re mad at their problem, but their focus is always on solving it - not talking about it.
Be the Part, Don’t Look It
When you look at the men I roll with; you’ll see some who are clean-shaven, in tailored shirts, and speak like royalty. Keep looking, and you will find bearded brothers who look like gym rats, think like pirates and speak like Sailors.
My squad in FoE looks like we belong in a boardroom meeting, LOTR set, and out to sea in search of glory and booty.
We are who we are, and that’s unique to one another.
The strength of the group is our diversity (not in the woke sense), and the power is the various perspectives and histories we’ve collected in one place where life lessons are shared, and growth is encouraged.
My judgment of their place in my life and the FoE community is based upon the merit of their character, not any superficial metric such as beards, style, skin color, religion, or economic class.
Those in a position to influence me will do so by their actions, not their words or wardrobe, so why would I ever eliminate potential friends based on such a weak measurement of strength?
I choose the ones I allow into my life after they’ve shown consistent dedication to truth and growth; if you have that, we’re friends.
You need to do the same because keeping “friends” for no reason other than you “have history” is a recipe for disaster. Staying true to your roots means nothing if that history together stagnated the year you left high school. You need to uproot and find a new place to flourish and grow; nobody who cares for you should ever be upset that you’re prioritizing yourself. Those around you are obligated to keep up with the tempo you’ve set; It’s OK to turn around and offer a hand now and then as things happen and people slip, but you cannot carry those around you to the finish line because they didn’t want to run the race.
Life is for those willing to live, and if you’re to improve your station in life, you have to accept that one of the challenges will be letting go of those you’re familiar with to reach unknown lands.
One of the things I pride myself in is FoE’s track record with men; when people ask me about my friends, I drop links to their accounts and content with pride. I want to show off what the men in my life are doing because their success is my success. The most incredible testimonial to “Does your system work?” is not for me to answer with a clear bias, but for those within to show, “Look at how I’ve turned my life around”.
You should have friends who do the same; you see them working to improve, and they see you doing the same. - everyone wins.
That never happens if you’re unwilling to accept that some of those from your past may be limiting the reach you have in the future, and this brings up a necessary reminder that people often do want you to do well, just never better than themselves.
You need to develop your mission, find your values, and surround yourself with those willing to take the mission on as they have the same fire and see your vision for a stronger future.
This is how we reach our full potential; we surround ourselves with positive influences and remove those looking to bring the tempo of growth down. You are who you roll with, so start rolling with men who may be very different from you and themselves, but their focus is on growth and opportunity, just like you...
- Zachary Small
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