The Courage to Be Happy: Honoring Pope Francis’s Legacy
Choosing Joy in a World That Prefers Outrage
Pope Francis, the spiritual leader whose humility and warmth inspired millions, passed away recently at the age of 88.
In the wake of his death, I find myself clinging to one simple piece of wisdom he gave us years ago. It feels like both a comfort and a challenge, especially in a world so often brimming with cynicism and complaint.
“Have the courage to swim against the tide. Have the courage to be happy.” — Pope Francis
(He first spoke these words in 2013, urging young people to rebel against a culture of negativity and fleeting pleasure. Today, they ring truer than ever.)
The Guilt of Being Happy
When I reflect on Pope Francis’s quote, I realize how often people resist their happiness.
Have you ever felt a twinge of guilt for feeling good when others around you are struggling?
Many years ago, I could relate; I felt like my happiness was a bad thing, and somehow it meant there was an impending doom to follow.
I let that BS go, and have not looked back. I am unapologetically happy, motivated, and inspired every day of my life.
I’ve had people tell me that sometimes, when life is going well, they’d catch themselves toning down their joy, as if they needed to apologize for it. I recall making a significant sale ($ 8,000) with my photography, and someone said I shouldn't have shared that, as others were going through hard times.
How backwards is that..?
This guilt or resistance to joy is more common than we acknowledge.
We live in a time when constant worry and outrage seem to be the default state. If you’re not stressed or upset about something, you almost feel like you’re doing something wrong. And I do say “you” and not “we” because, as I said, I stopped with this sense of “self-limiting happiness” years ago. You guys be humble; I’m living the hell out of my life and celebrating it to the day I die. It’s not bragging, it’s sharing what I’m doing without a form of self-happiness-censorship.
You’re sad?
I’m not.
It’s as if we’ve internalized the idea that being happy amid the world’s problems is somehow ignorant or selfish. We tell ourselves that now isn’t the time to be joyful, there’s too much to fix, too much to fight - joy can wait. And so, we postpone our happiness or keep it private, while outwardly joining the chorus of complaints that feels more socially acceptable.
If I have a great morning and arrive at work excited, and everyone else is tired or low-energy, I’ll nod and then work to get them elevated. It’s easier to fit in by complaining, but I’m not on this planet to fit in; that’s not me.
Admitting that I’m feeling great can seem almost like bragging, and for some, in those moments, choosing to be openly happy does take a little courage, as it means they’re swimming against the tide of group negativity.
So why do people do this?
Why do they bring themselves down to fit in, as opposed to saying, “Look at me, I’m happy!”?
I believe that a part of it is empathy; people don’t want to flaunt their joy when someone else is in pain.
But part of it is learned behavior: We are culturally trained to bond over cynicism. Complaining is safe, cool, even as happiness is a vulnerability that risks being dismissed as naïveté.
A Culture of Complaint and Cynicism
Look around, and it’s easy to see how complaining and negativity are culturally reinforced.
Our social media feeds and daily conversations are full of gripes and critiques. The news cycle certainly doesn’t help, it bombards us with tragedy and scandal; There’s a reason journalists say, “if it bleeds, it leads.
Studies show that negative words in news headlines significantly increase readership, while positive words decrease it.
Outrage and pessimism grab our attention more easily than joy. As consumers, we reward the bad news and then wonder why we feel so pessimistic.
Another example addressing the desire to make the good, “bad”.
Hero Today, Villain Tomorrow: How the Media Kills Courage for Clicks
This is a follow-up piece to “Calloused Hands to Clout Chasing: How We Traded Strength for Spectacle”
Cynicism, too, has an oddly exalted status.
It wears a mask of sophistication.
Being the person who points out the flaws in everything can make you seem smart or worldly. As one observer noted, cynicism is often mistaken for intelligence, when in fact it’s frequently “a mask of disappointment.”
Consider that…
Behind a hardened, cynical exterior, there is often a disillusioned heart, someone who perhaps once cared deeply and was hurt. Rather than courageously having hope again, it’s safer to expect the worst. People now equate being jaded with being wise.
I see this all around.
Negativity is contagious, and over time, it can harden into one’s default view of the world around them.
And then joy is treated as the outlier.
We’ve all heard someone dismiss a cheerful person by saying, “They’re living in a bubble,” or “They aren’t paying attention to the real world.”
It’s as if being unhappy is the only rational response to life, and I can’t get on board with that notion; call me what you will, but at least I’m happy…
Ask yourself, are you more comfortable talking about how the world is dark than seeing someone shine?
It doesn’t help that venting and commiserating are how we often connect with each other. We bond over shared complaints: the difficult boss, the crazy weather, the annoying commute, you name it.
Entire friendships and social routines revolve around mutual griping.
Breaking out of that pattern by injecting gratitude or joy can feel like breaking an unspoken rule. I’ve been at social and family gatherings where the moment I express too much positive news about money made, family achievements, or good news in general has caused the conversation to fall flat, and we soon return to a more familiar topic: who’s sick, who’s broke, who’s let us down lately.
It’s almost as if we need a certain level of dissatisfaction to grease the wheels of interaction.
But Pope Francis’s life and words offer a different path.
In a world that normalizes outrage and bitterness, he dared to model joy and hope. Did you know that he put a sign on his office door that read, “No Complaining.”
It was a humorous touch, the sign warned that violators would face a “victim mentality” and should “stop complaining and take steps to improve your life”.
He meant it in jest (he hung it after someone gave it to him as a gift), but he was also quite serious about the spiritual dangers of excessive complaining. He warned that chronic gripe can “dash hope” and blind us to any goodness around us. In other words, when we focus on what’s wrong, we lose sight of what’s right and become unable to recognize grace, even when it’s standing right in front of us.
That little sign on his door said a lot about Pope Francis’s approach, and that’s what I liked about him…
He understood the cultural tide of negativity, but he refused to let it set the tone for his life or his leadership. He urged us to do the same; to rebel against cynicism, to refuse the temptation of constant whining, and instead to foster a spirit of gratitude and joy.
This wasn’t because he ignored the world’s problems, far from it. He confronted suffering and injustice head-on, speaking out about poverty, inequality, and conflict throughout his papacy. He was more of a boots-on-the-ground Pope than I’ve ever seen in my life; he went where his people were.
And he did so without losing his inner joy.
He reminded people that Christians should not be dark or apathetic; he reminded us, through example, that one can be deeply aware of reality and still choose to hope.
Joy as a Courageous Act of Defiance
All of this brings me back to that quote: “Have the courage to be happy.” It sounds so simple, almost childlike.
And yet, in today’s climate, being authentically happy is an act of courage. It means going against the current. It means choosing to see light when everyone else is emphasizing darkness. It means not joining that sarcastic dogpile on Facebook or Twitter threads, not adding one more angry voice to the echo chamber, even when that might make you feel left out.
It means daring to say, “I know there is ugliness in the world, but I will not let it poison my capacity for wonder and gratitude.”
Choosing joy is not about sticking our heads in the sand.
It’s not naive escapism or wearing rose-colored glasses 24/7.
True happiness is not the absence of problems; it’s a decision to face them with a hopeful heart.
That’s what Pope Francis exemplified. He acknowledged the pain, but he also laughed and smiled whenever he could. He showed that joy can coexist with sorrow.
The reality is, joy can transform sorrow, or at least give it meaning. It reminds us that life is not defined solely by its tragedies; there are blessings and beauties, even in hardship. The pain of loss is there because the beauty of connection existed.
I think about the people I admire most in my life; my wife, son, daughter, and Anthony…
Almost all of them have this trait: An ability to remain kind and positive in the face of challenges. They aren’t ignorant of what’s wrong; they refuse to let cynicism win. They have the strength to appreciate small pleasures even when facing big problems.
That, to me, is heroic.
It’s much easier to do the opposite, and become bitter, to wallow, to criticize constantly. Embracing negativity requires no special talent; it earns social rewards.
But cultivating joy and maintaining hope – that takes spiritual effort and strength.
In times of despair, joy is a radical act.
It’s a way of saying, “I will not let the evil and sadness of the world rob me of appreciating the good.” It’s fighting back against the cynicism that tells us nothing ever changes, that there’s nothing to be grateful for. Joy is not just a feeling; it’s a stance. It’s a way of declaring our spirit unbroken.
For those of us who have faith, happiness can even be a sign of trust; trust that God is still present, still at work, even when things are rough.
And for those who don’t identify as religious, choosing happiness can be a sign of trust in life itself, a belief that your story is still worth living with love and laughter. In either case, it’s a courageous trust that tomorrow can be better, or at least that we can find meaning and goodness right here, right now.
Pope Francis embodied this courage.
He often spoke about mercy, about caring for the poor, about peace, and serious, weighty issues.
Yet, interwoven with all those messages was this consistent thread: joy.
He even wrote an entire teaching document called “The Joy of the Gospel.” Joy was central to his vision of a vibrant spirit.
He didn’t want followers who are perpetually sulking or raging at the world’s imperfections. He wanted us awake to the gifts around us, capable of delight and laughter, as well as compassion.
Be the person who has an infectious joy that transcends language and culture. Have a happiness that makes people feel seen and loved. That kind of light doesn’t come from having an easy life; it comes from a deliberate choice to be kind, to be grateful, to love despite everything.
It comes from swimming upstream, every day, against a current of despair.
It’s okay to be who you are and to speak your truth, even if it’s positive, when surrounded by negative people. I’d say that is when it’s most needed:
Don't Hide Your Thoughts
This photo was taken at an after-party for a Convention I’d spoken at in Vegas last year. I was sitting there alone when someone sat next to me and started asking questions; instead of answering with what I’d thought the gentlemen would want to hear,
Reclaim Your Joy
In honor of Pope Francis’s legacy, I want to invite you (and myself—because I’m writing this as much for me as for anyone) to take his challenge to heart.
Have the courage to be happy.
Let’s reclaim joy not just as a fleeting emotion, but as a radical spiritual practice. How do we do that, practically speaking? Here are a few starting points:
Give yourself permission to be happy. Realize that it’s not a betrayal of those who are suffering for you to embrace the grace in your own life. You becoming joyful doesn’t take joy away from someone else; in fact, it might inspire them. So drop the guilt. If you find a moment of sunshine in your day, savor it without apology.
Resist the outrage carousel. It’s easy to get sucked into the daily whirlwind of scandals and complaints on social media and news. By all means, stay informed and stand up for what’s right, but know when to step back. You don’t have to feel angry about every issue 24/7. Allow yourself breaks from the doomscrolling and outrage. Use that time to do something that uplifts you, such as reading a good book, taking a walk, or calling a loved one. It’s not selfish, it’s the way things should have always been.
Practice gratitude openly. This may feel a bit counterintuitive at first. When others are griping, you don’t have to lecture or try to stop them, but you can gently offer a positive observation. “Actually, I kind of like this rainy weather, it’s peaceful,” you might say in a group stuck on complaining about the rain. Or make it a habit to name one or two things you’re thankful for each day, perhaps at the dinner table or on your commute home. Gratitude is the easiest doorway to joy. The more you notice the good, the more good you see.
Spread small kindnesses. One of the quickest ways to feel real joy is to brighten someone else’s day. Pope Francis was well aware of this; he was reaching out to the vulnerable, washing the feet of prisoners, and hugging a child. We may not have his stage, but within our small sphere, we can accomplish so much. Send an encouraging text. Smile at a stranger. Help a coworker who’s swamped. These little acts are rebellions against the tide of self-centeredness. They connect us, and connection feeds happiness.
Finally, let go of the idea that joy is trivial.
It’s not.
Joy is revolutionary.
In a culture that sometimes seems addicted to bitterness and outrage, choosing joy is a defiant act of faith.
It’s a way of saying you refuse to let darkness have the last word.
Pope Francis understood that deeply, and by choosing happiness, we are not avoiding the world’s problems; we are confronting them in a new way. We are refusing to add our despair to the mix.
We are keeping our hearts open to hope.
When you find yourself sinking into cynicism or tempted to join in the latest complaint, pause and remember a message from the late Pope, who told you to be brave and choose happiness.
Have the courage to be happy. Today, and every day that follows.
- Zac Small